When something in our life feels overwhelming, most of us have a pretty predictable response.
We try to make a bigger plan. We tell ourselves we need to get organized, get caught up, get back on track, fix the problem, make a decision, or finally deal with everything we have been avoiding.
And sometimes that works. But sometimes the bigger plan becomes one more thing we cannot manage.
That is when I think we need to look at the problem differently. Sometimes the answer is not to push harder. Sometimes we need to make the next step smaller.
We try to make a bigger plan. We tell ourselves we need to get organized, get caught up, get back on track, fix the problem, make a decision, or finally deal with everything we have been avoiding.
And sometimes that works. But sometimes the bigger plan becomes one more thing we cannot manage.
That is when I think we need to look at the problem differently. Sometimes the answer is not to push harder. Sometimes we need to make the next step smaller.
Why Do Small Steps Help When You Feel Overwhelmed?
Small steps can help because they reduce the number of decisions your brain has to make at one time.
Think about the difference between these two thoughts:
“I need to organize my house.”
and
“I’m going to clear off this one counter.”
The first one sounds like one task, but it really isn’t.
Your brain immediately starts trying to figure out what needs to be done, where to begin, how long it will take, what stays, what goes, where everything belongs, and what else you are going to uncover along the way. You haven’t touched a thing yet, and your brain is already working.
Now compare that with:
“I’m going to clear off this counter.”
The larger problem has not changed. But the next step has. And that matters more than we sometimes realize.
Small steps can help because they reduce the number of decisions your brain has to make at one time.
Think about the difference between these two thoughts:
“I need to organize my house.”
and
“I’m going to clear off this one counter.”
The first one sounds like one task, but it really isn’t.
Your brain immediately starts trying to figure out what needs to be done, where to begin, how long it will take, what stays, what goes, where everything belongs, and what else you are going to uncover along the way. You haven’t touched a thing yet, and your brain is already working.
Now compare that with:
“I’m going to clear off this counter.”
The larger problem has not changed. But the next step has. And that matters more than we sometimes realize.
What Happens in Your Brain When You Feel Overwhelmed?
When the brain reads something as stressful, uncertain, demanding, or potentially threatening, the stress response begins to shift how we operate. Your brain starts giving more attention to what feels urgent. At the same time, some of the higher-level thinking we rely on for planning, prioritizing, holding information in mind, and considering different options can become less efficient.
When the brain reads something as stressful, uncertain, demanding, or potentially threatening, the stress response begins to shift how we operate. Your brain starts giving more attention to what feels urgent. At the same time, some of the higher-level thinking we rely on for planning, prioritizing, holding information in mind, and considering different options can become less efficient.
This is where working memory, executive function, and cognitive flexibility come in. Working memory helps us hold several pieces of information in mind long enough to do something with them. Executive function helps us plan, organize, prioritize, and decide what comes next. Cognitive flexibility helps us shift strategies, look at something differently, and adjust when the first plan is not working. Those are exactly the skills we need when we are trying to sort through something complicated. And stress can make those skills harder to access.
So think about the irony of that. You are overwhelmed because there are too many things to think about. Then your brain becomes more stressed. And now the very skills you need to sort through those things may not be working as efficiently. That can leave us staring at the problem instead of starting it.
So think about the irony of that. You are overwhelmed because there are too many things to think about. Then your brain becomes more stressed. And now the very skills you need to sort through those things may not be working as efficiently. That can leave us staring at the problem instead of starting it.
How Does Stress Affect the Prefrontal Cortex?
The prefrontal cortex plays an important role in planning, decision-making, impulse control, attention, and flexible thinking.
It helps us step back, sort through information, and decide what actually needs our attention first.
But under stress, that kind of deliberate thinking can become harder.
The brain can become more focused on what feels urgent or immediate and less efficient at doing the slower, more thoughtful work of organizing and prioritizing. That does not mean your brain stops working. It means the balance shifts. And if the task already feels too big, that shift can make it even harder to figure out where to begin.
The prefrontal cortex plays an important role in planning, decision-making, impulse control, attention, and flexible thinking.
It helps us step back, sort through information, and decide what actually needs our attention first.
But under stress, that kind of deliberate thinking can become harder.
The brain can become more focused on what feels urgent or immediate and less efficient at doing the slower, more thoughtful work of organizing and prioritizing. That does not mean your brain stops working. It means the balance shifts. And if the task already feels too big, that shift can make it even harder to figure out where to begin.
What Happens in Your Body When You Feel Overwhelmed?
Stress is not happening only in your thoughts.
Stress is not happening only in your thoughts.
Your body is involved too.
When the brain detects a stressor, the sympathetic nervous system can become more active. Chemicals involved in the stress response, including adrenaline, norepinephrine, and cortisol, help prepare the body to respond. Your heart rate may increase. Your muscles may tense.
Your breathing may become quicker or shallower. You may feel restless, agitated, or keyed up.
Or you may experience almost the opposite and feel tired, stuck, heavy, or like you simply do not want to deal with anything else. This is one reason I think it is important that we stop assuming overwhelm always looks dramatic.
When the brain detects a stressor, the sympathetic nervous system can become more active. Chemicals involved in the stress response, including adrenaline, norepinephrine, and cortisol, help prepare the body to respond. Your heart rate may increase. Your muscles may tense.
Your breathing may become quicker or shallower. You may feel restless, agitated, or keyed up.
Or you may experience almost the opposite and feel tired, stuck, heavy, or like you simply do not want to deal with anything else. This is one reason I think it is important that we stop assuming overwhelm always looks dramatic.
Sometimes it is obvious.
Sometimes it looks like sitting in your car for five extra minutes because you do not want to walk into the house.
Sometimes it looks like opening an email and closing it again.
Sometimes it looks like walking past the same pile every day.
Sometimes it looks like thinking, “I’ll deal with that tomorrow.”
And then tomorrow comes.
Sometimes it looks like sitting in your car for five extra minutes because you do not want to walk into the house.
Sometimes it looks like opening an email and closing it again.
Sometimes it looks like walking past the same pile every day.
Sometimes it looks like thinking, “I’ll deal with that tomorrow.”
And then tomorrow comes.
Why Does Making the Next Step Smaller Work?
Making the next step smaller reduces uncertainty and gives the brain a specific action to focus on. Instead of:
“I have to organize this entire kitchen.”
we decide:
“I am going to deal with the candles.”
Making the next step smaller reduces uncertainty and gives the brain a specific action to focus on. Instead of:
“I have to organize this entire kitchen.”
we decide:
“I am going to deal with the candles.”
Something important just happened. We reduced the number of decisions the brain needs to make right now. We created a boundary around the task. We identified where to begin. We gave ourselves a specific action instead of a vague problem. The brain no longer has to figure out the entire kitchen. It only has to deal with the candles. That does not magically shut off the stress response. But it changes the demand we are placing on ourselves.
Instead of asking the brain to hold and solve everything at once, we have given it one defined problem. Less to hold. Fewer decisions to make. A clear place to begin. That can free up some mental capacity.
A Real-Life Example of Starting Smaller
This idea came up for me again after reading a story from my friend Tina Mader of Square 1 Organizing.
Tina described a time when her kitchen had become so overwhelming that she would sit in her car and gather the energy to walk into the house. What changed things was not a complete home overhaul. She started with the candles. Then the dishcloths. Then the next small thing. That part stayed with me because it is such a clear example of what we are talking about here. The larger problem did not disappear, but the first step became manageable. Tina put it simply: organization is not about creating a perfect home. It is about creating a space that supports the way you actually live.
You can read more about Tina and her work with Square 1 Organizing here: https://www.square1organizing.com
This idea came up for me again after reading a story from my friend Tina Mader of Square 1 Organizing.
Tina described a time when her kitchen had become so overwhelming that she would sit in her car and gather the energy to walk into the house. What changed things was not a complete home overhaul. She started with the candles. Then the dishcloths. Then the next small thing. That part stayed with me because it is such a clear example of what we are talking about here. The larger problem did not disappear, but the first step became manageable. Tina put it simply: organization is not about creating a perfect home. It is about creating a space that supports the way you actually live.
You can read more about Tina and her work with Square 1 Organizing here: https://www.square1organizing.com
Why Is a Specific Action Easier Than a General Goal?
“I need to get organized” is an intention.
“I’m going to throw away these empty candles” is an action.
Those are very different things. We can spend an incredible amount of time intending to do something.
I need to call them.
I need to get caught up.
I need to clean this.
I need to make a decision.
I need to start exercising again.
But the brain still has to figure out how to turn that intention into behavior. The more specific the next action becomes, the less work there is between deciding and beginning. That is why “start smaller” is not just motivational advice. A specific next step gives the brain something it can actually act on.
“I need to get organized” is an intention.
“I’m going to throw away these empty candles” is an action.
Those are very different things. We can spend an incredible amount of time intending to do something.
I need to call them.
I need to get caught up.
I need to clean this.
I need to make a decision.
I need to start exercising again.
But the brain still has to figure out how to turn that intention into behavior. The more specific the next action becomes, the less work there is between deciding and beginning. That is why “start smaller” is not just motivational advice. A specific next step gives the brain something it can actually act on.
What Changes After You Take One Small Step?
You finish. Maybe it only took five minutes. The kitchen is certainly not organized. But the candles are gone. Now there is less on the counter.
There is one fewer thing demanding attention. You made a decision. You completed something.
And instead of looking at the kitchen and thinking: “I haven’t even started.”
your brain has a different piece of information. “I started.”
I think this distinction is important.
We sometimes talk about small wins as though we are simply trying to make ourselves feel good. There is more to it than that. Completing one defined action changes the situation. There is objectively one less thing to deal with. There may be fewer visual cues competing for your attention. You no longer have to make that particular decision. And you now know what taking action feels like. That can make the next step easier to identify.
You finish. Maybe it only took five minutes. The kitchen is certainly not organized. But the candles are gone. Now there is less on the counter.
There is one fewer thing demanding attention. You made a decision. You completed something.
And instead of looking at the kitchen and thinking: “I haven’t even started.”
your brain has a different piece of information. “I started.”
I think this distinction is important.
We sometimes talk about small wins as though we are simply trying to make ourselves feel good. There is more to it than that. Completing one defined action changes the situation. There is objectively one less thing to deal with. There may be fewer visual cues competing for your attention. You no longer have to make that particular decision. And you now know what taking action feels like. That can make the next step easier to identify.
What Changes in the Brain and Body After the Shift?
Before the shift, your brain may be trying to hold too much at once. Too many decisions. Too many unknowns. Too many possible starting points. Your body may also be carrying the stress of that uncertainty. Once the task becomes smaller and more specific, some of that uncertainty decreases. You know what you are doing right now. You know where to begin. You do not have to solve the whole problem in this moment. That can allow some of the mental pressure to ease. Your attention has somewhere to go. Your brain has fewer immediate decisions to make. Your body may begin to settle as the situation feels more manageable.
Before the shift, your brain may be trying to hold too much at once. Too many decisions. Too many unknowns. Too many possible starting points. Your body may also be carrying the stress of that uncertainty. Once the task becomes smaller and more specific, some of that uncertainty decreases. You know what you are doing right now. You know where to begin. You do not have to solve the whole problem in this moment. That can allow some of the mental pressure to ease. Your attention has somewhere to go. Your brain has fewer immediate decisions to make. Your body may begin to settle as the situation feels more manageable.
The important word there is may. One small action does not instantly lower stress hormones or switch off the nervous system. But changing the size and clarity of the task can change how demanding the situation feels. And that can influence what happens next.
From “This Is Too Much” to “I Know What I Can Do Next”
This is the shift I want people to notice.
Before:
“This is too much.”
“I don’t know where to start.”
“There are too many things to do.”
“I’ll deal with it later.”
After:
“I know what I’m doing right now.”
“I finished that.”
“What is the next thing?”
The entire problem may still exist. But your relationship to it has changed. Instead of trying to process the entire problem at once, you are working with one piece of it. There is less uncertainty about what you are doing right now. There are fewer immediate decisions to make.
You are no longer only reacting to the size of the problem. You are participating in what happens next.
This is the shift I want people to notice.
Before:
“This is too much.”
“I don’t know where to start.”
“There are too many things to do.”
“I’ll deal with it later.”
After:
“I know what I’m doing right now.”
“I finished that.”
“What is the next thing?”
The entire problem may still exist. But your relationship to it has changed. Instead of trying to process the entire problem at once, you are working with one piece of it. There is less uncertainty about what you are doing right now. There are fewer immediate decisions to make.
You are no longer only reacting to the size of the problem. You are participating in what happens next.
Small Does Not Mean Insignificant
This is one of the reasons I talk so much about noticing patterns before trying to change everything.
When something feels overwhelming, the answer is not always to push harder or create a bigger plan.
Sometimes we need to make the next step smaller.
Small actions can begin to shift us from:
“This is too much.”
to:
“I know what I can do next.”
The whole problem hasn’t disappeared. Your brain simply doesn’t have to solve all of it at the same time. That is a very different place to operate from.
This is one of the reasons I talk so much about noticing patterns before trying to change everything.
When something feels overwhelming, the answer is not always to push harder or create a bigger plan.
Sometimes we need to make the next step smaller.
Small actions can begin to shift us from:
“This is too much.”
to:
“I know what I can do next.”
The whole problem hasn’t disappeared. Your brain simply doesn’t have to solve all of it at the same time. That is a very different place to operate from.
What Should You Do When You Feel Too Overwhelmed to Start?
The next time you find yourself procrastinating, avoiding something, getting irritated, or thinking, “Why can’t I just do this?” try becoming curious before becoming critical.
Ask yourself: Is the task actually one task?
Or have I bundled 15 decisions into something I am calling one task? Do I know what the first action is? Or do I only know what the finished result is supposed to look like? Am I asking myself to solve the whole problem right now?
And then try one more question: What would make the next step smaller?
Not meaningless. Not avoiding the problem. Just small enough that your brain knows what to do with it. Because small does not mean insignificant. Sometimes small is exactly how we move from feeling stuck in the problem to realizing: “I know what I can do next.”
The next time you find yourself procrastinating, avoiding something, getting irritated, or thinking, “Why can’t I just do this?” try becoming curious before becoming critical.
Ask yourself: Is the task actually one task?
Or have I bundled 15 decisions into something I am calling one task? Do I know what the first action is? Or do I only know what the finished result is supposed to look like? Am I asking myself to solve the whole problem right now?
And then try one more question: What would make the next step smaller?
Not meaningless. Not avoiding the problem. Just small enough that your brain knows what to do with it. Because small does not mean insignificant. Sometimes small is exactly how we move from feeling stuck in the problem to realizing: “I know what I can do next.”
Frequently Asked Questions
Why do I freeze when I have too much to do?
When there are too many decisions, unknowns, or competing demands, the brain has more information to process at once. Stress can also make working memory, planning, prioritizing, and flexible thinking less efficient, which can make it harder to figure out where to begin.
Can stress make it harder to make decisions?
Yes. Stress can affect executive functions involved in planning, prioritizing, working memory, and decision-making. That is one reason even simple choices can feel harder when you are already overwhelmed.
Why do small tasks sometimes make me feel better?
A small, specific task reduces uncertainty and gives your attention somewhere concrete to go. Completing it also removes at least one demand or decision from the larger problem.
Does completing one small task calm the nervous system?
It can help some people feel more settled, but it is not an instant off switch for the stress response. Making a task smaller can reduce how demanding and uncertain the situation feels, which may help the body and brain begin to settle.
How do I know what my first step should be?
Look for the smallest meaningful action that moves the situation forward. Ask yourself, “What is one thing I can do right now without having to solve the whole problem?”
Is starting small the same as avoiding the bigger problem?
No. Starting small means breaking a larger problem into a manageable action. You are still moving toward the bigger goal, but you are not asking yourself to solve everything at once.
Why do I freeze when I have too much to do?
When there are too many decisions, unknowns, or competing demands, the brain has more information to process at once. Stress can also make working memory, planning, prioritizing, and flexible thinking less efficient, which can make it harder to figure out where to begin.
Can stress make it harder to make decisions?
Yes. Stress can affect executive functions involved in planning, prioritizing, working memory, and decision-making. That is one reason even simple choices can feel harder when you are already overwhelmed.
Why do small tasks sometimes make me feel better?
A small, specific task reduces uncertainty and gives your attention somewhere concrete to go. Completing it also removes at least one demand or decision from the larger problem.
Does completing one small task calm the nervous system?
It can help some people feel more settled, but it is not an instant off switch for the stress response. Making a task smaller can reduce how demanding and uncertain the situation feels, which may help the body and brain begin to settle.
How do I know what my first step should be?
Look for the smallest meaningful action that moves the situation forward. Ask yourself, “What is one thing I can do right now without having to solve the whole problem?”
Is starting small the same as avoiding the bigger problem?
No. Starting small means breaking a larger problem into a manageable action. You are still moving toward the bigger goal, but you are not asking yourself to solve everything at once.
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